Jamaica Villas Blog. Jamaica Villas from Villas Sur Mer at West End, Negril in Jamaica. Villas Sur Mer is a boutique resort for Jamaica holidays, weddings, honeymoons and special events.
"Connect damn you!!"Effin Computers!(I know what your thinking...)
I will take it as read that you clicked on the link above and are now shaking your head. I also know that you are thinking "What is this plonker on about now? and what has some madman screaming at his laptop got to do with renting a luxury villa in Jamaica from Jamaican Treasures? the best luxury villas rental company in the world, so we are told!"
Well, I´ll tell you. I, like many people, love the Internet and would not consider taking a holiday anywhere in the world where I could not get online for my daily fix. Nope! So, it's important for people who are considering renting a villa from..need I mention them? OK, Jamaican Treasures, the best holiday rentals company in the world, so I´m told, to know what the techno situation is at their chosen destination. I think you would agree with me on that point, the very fact you are reading this little blog means you are on the Internet as well! (This is not rocket science this mind reading stuff)
Well, first I´ll bore you with the stats. In the year 2000 2.3% of the population of Jamaica (2,597,100) were using the Internet for one reason or another. In 2010 this shot up to 55.5% of the population (2,847,32). What does that mean to you, the layman? (not that I am in anyway insinuating you are as thick as a Whale sandwich!) it means that in the year 2000, 60,000 of the breatheren were online in Jamaica and in 2010 there were 1,581,100 users. Wow! How do I know this? I rummage around the Internet for information that will impress you, that's how.
There are search engines, other than Google, Yahoo!, Bing, MSN etc etc that service the Caribbean and Jamaica, portals like Caribseek will keep you entertained for hours. Some websites that I love are Jamaicans.com and theJamaican Treasures website (Really!)
"What sort of connection can I expect in Jamaica?" I hear you say. Well, according to KasNet online Communications, they have been offering fast, reliable, Internet connections for over 6 years as well as high speed wireless connections. I don't know Mr Kasnet but I´m sure he's not waffling.
So, dear readers, when you book one of Jamaican Treasures fantastic villas in Jamaica (or, indeed, Bali, Mexico, Thailand and many other places, so I´m told) you can rest assured that you will be able to access the Internet and continue to read this wonderful Blog. Bliss!!
I have a large female cat called Grandita ("Little Big cat", named by the little girl next door when she was a kitten as she was the biggest of the litter, the Cat that is, not the little girl) and she, like other moggies, brings me presents now and again. last night it was a 3ft ratsnake!
Ratsnake throwing an "Hissy Fit" on my patio.
It was cute, I don't mind snakes, as long as they don't suprise me by dropping from the Olive trees onto my head and so I took it out of harms way and put him by some rocks in the countryside where I live. What has this got to do with Jamaica Villas and Jamaican Treasures in particular (The best Jamaica Villas rentals company in the world, I may have mentioned this before?) Nothing! Nothing at all, it's just that my little snake friend got me asking the question "Are there many snakes in Jamaica?"
There are snakes in Jamaica but they are as rare a rocking horse manure because some dozy Europeans brought Mongoose to the Islands to get rid of the rats, the trouble is, Mongoose have a rare taste for snakes...any snakes!!
Also, pigs and domestic cats helped to further reduce the snake population in Jamaica.
An Article I read mentioned that the population of Jamaica have a paranoia about snakes and often kill them on site, even the Yellow Snake who is harmless to humans and helps to keep the rats down.
Anyway, the Yellow Snake is part of the Boa family and can grow to a length of 8ft!! not to worry though, most only get to about 6.5ft. They are indigenous to Jamaica and completely harmless to you and me. Also, anyone with Ophidiophobia (fear of Snakes) will be happy to note that Jamaica has no venemous snakes, the odd grass snake and 8ft Boa, yes but no nasty snakes at all.
Andalucian hippie takes delivery of Blue Mountain Coffee & Jamaica T-Shirts
I went to our local Correos or Post Office this morning to be greeted by a smiling Maria (All Spanish woman are called "Maria") who is happy to tell me that there is a parcel for me and that it's not from "Inglaterra" that's England to us non Spaniards..
Her friend and colleague Maria (Told you...) handed me the parcel in question and then asked me to sign for it. No problemo. Maria and Maria then stood and looked at me with that "Open the bloody thing then!" look. I, in turn, gave them that "Nah! maybe later" look and left.
I was indeed expecting a parcel "not from Inglaterre" as I had been promised by Lisa of Jamaican Treasures (The best Holiday villas in Jamaica, Mexico, Bali..I have mentioned the company before? 'Scuse me then!) a bag of that Jamaican liquid gold called Blue Mountain Coffee and some T-Shirts from the very same place.
Before rushing home to open my parcel, I whipped down to La Plaza Bar, a café cum restaurant cum gossip stop for the local expats, for cup of Santa Christina decaf and a quick yap with my friends from the band I used to play in.
Francesca, the waitress (All Spanish woman NOT called Maria are called Francesca) asked what was in the parcel?
Me: "Coffee"
Francesca: "We haff coffee?"
Me: "This is different coffee"
Francesca: "Why is eet different coffee?"
Me: "This is the best coffee in the world!"
Francesca: "Say who?"
Me: "Say Lisa"
Francesca: "Who ees Lisa"
Me: "Lisa is the lady who sent me the coffee"
Francesca:"Wot coffee?"
Me:"The coffee in the parcel!"
Francesca: "We haff coffee?"
Me: "Blue Mountain coffee is the best in the world and Lisa, the lady who sent me the coffee from Jamaica, told me so, she has sent me some so I can try for myself!"
Francesca:"You say yor cafe ees betta thana Santa Christina? Mebbee yoo should go and sit in Jamaica then!"
I didn´t mention the T-Shirts as she was wearing her "I love Spain"red on white special. All Spanish woman called Francesca are very touchy.
No matter! Off home I went and opened my parcel of joy and "Viola!" inside was 1 x bag of Blue Mountain coffee from Jamaica and (here is the big suprise) 5 x T-shirts not 4 as was wriiten on the parcel. Brilliant.
As in all stories, there is a moral. I was made a promise by Lisa of Jamaican Treasures (The best luxury villas rentals in Jamaica, Mexico, Bali..er..I mentioned this a bit further up the posting? OK!") and the promise is kept. That's not the moral of the story, the moral of the story is never have a conversation with a Spanish woman about coffee, they get the hump very easy!.
I shall enjoy my cup of Blue Mountain Coffee with a glass or five of Rum tonight whilst watching the Sopranos on the telly. I will also be wearing a "Yeah Mon!" T-shirt. Bliss!
OK, Jerk! No, I don´t mean OK, Jerk? I mean OK...Jerk. I´m not being rude I am merely addressing the topic of authentic Jamaican cuisine called "Jerk". I know, it's a bit of a dodgey name but hey! get some culture into your life.
The name "Jerk" comes from the Quechua native American language word, "charqui", as does "Jerky", the stuff John Wayne used to eat in them western films. The name "charqui" or "Jerky" means "dried meat" or meat that has been preserved by cutting it into thin strips and smoking it (No! not in a pipe! over a fire! God help me, this Blog entry is going to take all day.)
Nowadays though, "Jerk" means some plonker who is a complete idiot or the method of cooking used in Jamaica either over charcoal or in the kitchen but prepared using spices.
So, Jerk recipes, what makes them so different to other cuisines, like Indian, Thai or Chinese who all use spices in their food?.
The four key ingredients in Jerk cooking are Scotch bonnet peppers, allspice berries, scallions and thyme. "Scallions" are also known as Spring Onions, just in case you had never heard them called Scallions before.
Scotch Bonnet peppers are as hot as hell!!! ScotchBonnet peppers are among the most intensely hot of all peppers, with a Scoville rating that starts out around 150,000 and can climb as high as 300,000 in some rare specimens.
If you want to know how hot that feels, consider this; The Jalepeño pepper that you have stuffed with cheese at every Tex-Mex food outlet ranks between 2,500 and 8000 on the Scovillescale, so, if you think that has a kick, imagine what 150 - 300,000 rating tastes like?
If you don´t like a burning hot mouth, stay clear of Jerk food, really, stay clear!!!
You can use whatever spices you like to make your Jerk recipe a bit different but the spices I mentioned are the four bedrocks of Jerk.
The meat of choice (Goat or Pork are firm favourites in Jamaica) is marinated for any length of time but 24hrs is a minimum, you need to get all those flaours into the meat.
Then cook the meat, if your using an oven, cook on a low heat and for a long time, this will make the meat fall off the bone. Otherwise, cook over a charcole BBQ, again, really slow and maybe add some wood chippings to give that extra flavour. Bob's your uncle!
That's it! Not rocket science now, is it? I´ve added a video for you to see how the professionals do it.
Dat! by Pluto Shervington
I couldn´t really rap on about Jamaican food without reference to one of the greatest influences on my youth; Music. OK, what's music got to do with eating food? Well, let me pull your coat on this one.Dat! (Yep, that's right, Dat!)
Now, in years passed (many, in my case) I had a little disco and used to play all sorts of music, mostly Pop music, for the punters but also Reggea and Trojan (Trojan was not a style or genre of music but a label) records in particular. There were many great tunes knocking about, such as Desmond Dekker's "The Israelites" but my favourite reggae tune of the time was a silly song by a guy called Pluto Shervington called "Dat"
"Dat" is a song about a Rastafarian called Ozzy who can´t decide if he want's to buy some Ganja (weed, pot, happy grass etc) or something nice to eat with his limited resources. Having decided he would like to fill his belly, he consults the butcher on the possibilities of his forthcoming meal.
Now, Ozzy, being a good Rasta, he doesn't want to go against his faith and eat Pork or shellfish, spies something called "Dat" and asks what it is?
"Dat" is actually Pork but to save everyones blushes, they change the name to "dat" Here are the full lyrics in Patois. (If you listen to the song you´ll understand the weird spelling, it's not me on the happy grass ;-)
Rasta Ozzy from up the hill
Decide to check on him grocery bill
And when him add up the things him need
He don't why him see if he buy little weed
Him hand upon his jaw, Lord
Reading I am just mediate
This time it's so hard Lord
I might not think about emigrate
I make up my mind Lord
I might as well go against my own faith
So I follow the market
I sight the butcher boy by the gate
(You want goat?)
No I might a kill I queen
(Try beef now?)
I no check if no grass a green
(What about fowl?)
What I know it's time for a change
(Mashed fish?)
Got children on that range
(How about the steak?)
Watch it now, me now sight the rate
(Try tripe boss?)
Hold me belly when I pull me pipe
(Alright what about the pork?)
Hush your mouth man, me brethren hear
Sell I upon a dat thing there
Then the butcher pull up a stool
Begin to question Ozzy how him so fool
What kind of something cook in a pot
From him born did never hear about that
Well what ya know master
Give I time make try explain
It's just like a flim show
To protect the humble we change the name
I would have feel so cute
If come and ask for some animal fat
I and I feel safer if we change the subject and call it Dat
(You want goat?)
No I might a kill I queen
(Take the beef then)
I no check if no grass a green
(What about fowl?)
What I know it's time for a change
(Take fish then)
Got children on that range
(Make good steak you know)
Watch it now, me now sight the rate
(Take the tripe then boss)
Hold me belly when I pull me pipe
(Force down the pork then)
Hush your mouth man, me brethren hear
Sell I upon a dat thing there
Ozzy pay off the butcher bill
Take him parcel and trode up the hill
Like a spy who do you think him meet?
Rasta Jeremiah from down the street
For guidance me brethren
Is what you have in that there bag?
Him kind of get frightened
And begin to hide it beneath him rag
That man no fear high Lord
If we go and begone here and take us off
Meanwhile light a fire
And where we eat us upon a DAT
(You want goat?)
No I might a kill I queen
(Take the beef then)
I no deal with grass a green
(What about fowl?)
What I know it's time for a change
(Eat Fish then)
Got children on that range
(The steak's good enough)
Watch it now, me now sight the rate
(What about the tripe then?)
Hold me belly when I pull me pipe
(Well take the pork man)
Hush your mouth man, me brethren hear
Sell I upon a dat thing there.
You have no doubt read my postings about how wonderful Jamaica is and what a great company Jamaican Treasures Luxury Villas are..er..No? Yes you have.
Anyway, I´m changing tack now and I´m going to tell you what a great holiday you can have in Jamaica if you are in any way interested in Zoology. (Wha dat?) What's Zoology? it's the branch of biology that deals with the study of animal kingdom.
There are many wonderful and wierd sites to see in Jamaica, most of the time this is just the holidaymakers after a few "refreshments" but in other parts there are some weird and wonderful residents of the animal kingdom type.
Jamaican Iguana
Crocodiles
Mongoose
Coney or Jamaican Huita
More than 200 species of birds, 25 of which are endemic and
21 sub species which are found nowhere else.
Over 100 different types of butterflies including
The Swallowtail Butterfly
The Yellow-billed and the Black-billed parrot
Seaturtles ( Leatherback, Loggerhead, Green Turtle and Hawksbill) &
Manatees.
Over a dozen different kinds of frogs
25 species of Harmless Bats!
That's not counting the creepy-crawlies and the sea life. So, If you are into a little Dr Dolittle and fancy having a natter to the animals, you are spoilt for choice.
She shells shee shells on the shee shaw..Not easy to say Sean, is it?
James Bond, Dr. No, scantily clad, buxom blonde girls appearing out of the deep blue sea and some dodgey music (Three Blind Mice) are synonymous now with Jamaica and in particular "James Bond Beach"
James Bond Beach is east of Ochos Rios, on the northeastern coast of Jamaica and close to Port Maria which is great news for the tourists as there is plenty to see and do there. James Bond Beach is beautiful, well, the views are fantastic and it's a grand place to go snorkeling, sea fishing, swimming, Kyaking and bobbling about in a glass bottomed boat having a squint at the fishes below. Great stuff!
If you plan to stay near the James Bond beach and for some mad, insane reason you are not staying in one of Jamaican Treasures Luxury villas, then there is plenty of accommoation close by.(They have over 300+ luxury villas you know?)
The tourists and the locals love James Bond Beach and you will as well, there is a great place to eat, not too far from the beach that does traditional Jamaican food called the Ochos Rios Village Jerk Centre. No! not that type of "Jerk" (1960's dance craze) "Jerk" is a traditional method or style of cooking that is native to Jamaica.
If you don't fancy that then there is the Almond Tree Restaurant close by that does international cuisine, don´t worry, you won't starve, there are vendors on the beach who will sell you all sorts of goodies. You could always practice your James Bond voice and ask for "shome shalmon shandwiches" or "sheveral items of shee food" or maybe not.
Coffee. Who doesn't like Coffee? Everyone I know loves coffee. Black coffee, white coffee, strong coffee, coffee with " a little something" in it. There are numuerous ways of drinking coffee and we all have our favourite brands and blends.
I live in Andalucia, Spain, and everyone here drinks coffee and believe me, it's strong! At my local Café, La Plaza, one cup of Santa Christina from Paco the camarero (waiter) and you don´t sleep for a week, he makes it like he drinks it and that's very strong indeed.
Now, I was talking to Lisa, the boss woman of Jamaican Treasures, that fine luxury villa rentals company with 300+ villas all over the world (Yeah, we got it the first Blog!) and Lisa was telling me about "The best coffee in the world" and that is, so Lisa say's Blue Mountain Coffee from Jamaica (where else?)
Now, I have never tasted Blue Mountain coffee but I am assured that there is a bag of it winging it's way from Jamaica to my very own house in the mountains of Andalucia and so I look forward to giving you my expert opinion on this very product.
I suppose your wondering what the very pretty Jamaican girl has to do with the Blue Mountain Coffee? Well, if you go to the Blue Mountain Coffee website at http://www.bluemountaincoffee.com/ you will see this little sweetie on there as well, come on now! I´m only human.
To show theres no hard feelings, Í bunged the bag of coffee beans photo on as well, that is to keep the BMC police from accusing me of sexism (The very thought!)
Golf. If, like me, you are a complete philistine and refer to Golf clubs as "bats" then this post is not for you, Oh no! Golf is a mystery to me, I could never understand why big lads want to look like they got dressed in the dark at a fancy dress shop while the owner was out. Plus fours? Orange tartan shirts? Behave lads!
But, in the interest of fair play (no pun intended) I am going to add my little entry for all of those people who like to walk about manicured lawns..digging ruddy great divvots out of them. I am going to tell you about a wonderful Blog called "Jamaican Golf Blog" and it is very good.
I don´t pretend to understand the jargon but by the looks of things the people who look after the Jamaican Golf Blog really know their stuff. They have all the courses marked out, green fees, U.S.G.A ratings (I take it that would mean United States Golf Association?) resort highlights and lots more great information, it really is what the Internet was intended for, INFORMATION!
Anyway, I´m more than happy to point you in their direction as you will no doubt want to have a couple of goes at golf when you come and stay at any of our delightful villas in Jamaica.
Whilst I am at it, may I point you to one of my favourite Luxury Villas, a wonderful place that is 1 minutes walk from Silver sands beach and is between Montego Bay and Ochos Rios, Villa Cannon Cottage.
"From Savannla-La-Mar to Morant Bay, from Above Rocks to Port Maria, as the clock struck midnight on August 5, 1962, the strains of our national anthem were heard for the first time while Union Jacks were lowered and the Jamaican flag unveiled."
Here's a nice little story that will help you get used to the Jamaican dialect for when you decide to come to Jamaica. I must warn all you non Jamaicans it's not easy. See how you get on.
