Jamaica Villas - Getting Married in Jamaica?



"Oh! what a big leaf you have there Mr Blogspot!"

Blimey! Now I know what they mean by a ‘blushing bride’ nine couples took to the beach resort at Negril, which, in case you don’t know is on the north coast of the Paradise island of Jamaica and about 1 hour from Montego Bay. They did take to the beach but they never took any clothes with them though, oh no! They were naked as the day they were born with the exception of the odd leaf or flower here and there.

The Hedonism 11 Resort invited 10 couples for an all expenses paid wedding ceremony, unfortunately, one of the couples bottled it and so they were left with nine naked couples, all participants in a documentary, all selected from a list of 100 applicants who were asked dodgy questions such as “why do you want to start their life together stark naked?” “It saves a mint in wedding dresses and suits” would have been my answer.

Well I for one wish them all the very best, take a look yourself at the article (OK, it’s a promo for another company in Jamaica but at Jamaican Treasures we like to spread the word about for our friends, even those who encourage young ladies to cavort about naked…Aaaaagggh!)

Naked on the Beach link

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Jamaica Villas -Sea Island, Montego Bay

Jamaica Villa Sea Island, Montego Bay

It’s not Christmas but it may as well be Christmas the way Jamaican Treasures are giving away FREE accommodation in luxury Jamaica Villas. Yes, that is correct FREE accommodation in luxury Jamaica Villas. There is a saying that there is no such thing as a free dinner but in this particular case, you get free dinner with a starter and desert.

Villa Sea Island at Montego Bay is offering 7 nights’ accommodation for the price of 5 nights, you stay for 7 nights, pay for five nights and so that gives you 2 FREE nights. I’m not Albert Einstein or Carol Vorderman but I do know that 7 minus 2 is er…er…5 (Phew!)

Don’t think for one moment either that you will receive less in terms of service and quality, you won’t, all Jamaican Treasures villas offer the highest standard of service no matter what the price may be or if a property is on special offer, if we were giving Jamaica Villas away for free (which we are, almost) we would still ensure top quality.

So, without anymore waffle, take yourself over to the Jamaican Treasures main website and see what a great place Villa Sea Island is and you may also want to have a look at the other great Hot Villa Deals available, and remember, just because it’s a lower price does not mean you get less service.

Villa Sea Island, Montego Bay Link

Hot Villa Deals for Jamaica

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Jamaica Villas - How things have changed

Could this be you?

This really is true...isn't it?





I guess this is the future.



I have a friend in the United States who sends my emails containing the silliest things, some are a bit political, some are quite rude and other is rip-roaring funny. Hers a couple she sent relating to the modern world and how technology has changed our lives forever, for better or for worse. If you have any, I’d love to see them.

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Jamaica Villas - End of the Cold weather

Sierra Gibalto at the back of my house

Thank goodness this lousy cold weather has decided to bugger off and bother someone else; it has been perishing cold for what seems to have been a lifetime. Europe has been gripped with the mother of all winter freezes, in some countries causing over 200 deaths when tempters have slid to -30ºC and less, I believe the Ukraine was worst hit.

My house had days where we had no water because the pipes had frozen solid, we got as low as -8ºC on many nights but what made it worse was the biting winds and clear sunny skies, just to take the pee! No matter, last night there was no freeze and today the skies are blue and clear, so much so that I went for a pleasant stroll with Pablito my dog to the Olive groves near to our house. As you can see from the photo, spring is almost on us and hopefully this winter will be just a bitter cold memory.



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Jamaica Villas - Cool for Cats?

Very cold and it's clear to see

As far as good days go, Monday 13th of February was not really one of the best, well, not for my cats it wasn’t. No, Monday was the day that I took my cats Alfie, Pinky and Squeaky to the vet to be Spayed and Neutered, so, as you can imagine it was a bit of a “bad day at the orifice”

The vet was some 60 miles away and so being carted off to be deflowered and locked in a cage to get there really did nothing to improve matters but it had to be done. Living in the wilds of Andalucía, Spain, a feral female cat can produce hundreds of offspring in her lifetime and the road kill toll mounts. For the un-neutered male cat it can be a short and pleasant life as they wander around looking for lady cats to get it on with, they often get run over, shot, poisoned or attacked by farmers dogs of which there are plenty.

So, to the vets it was and the deed was done. On arrival back at the ranch two of the cats were up and about with no obvious signs of distress, poor Squeaky though, she was groggy and remained in the cat box for several more hours. I must say, the change in the male cat, Alfie, was amazing, he had gone from a shy, skittish cat to an almost hip, laid back cool moggie. I fed them, fed myself and then it was off to bed as it was getting late.

Next morning, all the cats looked OK, they were a bit ginger in their movements (The cat was a bit Ginger????) but they were fine, but for one exception; they were very thirsty and were moaning for water. This surprised me as we have a large bowl of fresh water for the pets under the verandah that they can get to at any time, the trouble was though, the bloody water bowl had frozen solid during the night. The horrible freezing cold weather that has blighted Europe for the last 2 or three weeks had kicked in again and frozen the poor cats water solid.

Oh my poor moggies!

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Jamaica Villas - With a little help from my friend

Watcha sayin der bro?

Sometimes, just sometimes there comes along a comic genius and they don’t have to be famous or even well known, they just have to touch on something so funny that you just have to pass it on. Well, here it is.

If anyone has ever heard Jimi Hendrix sing Purple Haze then they will have become a member of the ‘misheard Lyrics’ club, you know, those of us who cannot make head nor tale of certain songs. Jimi is famous for singing ‘Scuse me while I kiss this Guy’ when in reality he actually said “Scuse me while I kiss the Sky”

As a teenager I had my own disco and I loved Trojan label Reggae, we just called it ‘Trojan’ as if it was a different genre of Reggae and one artist that stood out was Desmond Dekker and his big UK hit “The Israelites” I could not understand a bloody word at first. I thought it went like this;

“Wake up in the morning sleep four at breakfast, So that every mouse can beef head”
It was of course;
“Wake up every morning slaving for breakfast so that every mouth can be fed”

Jumping Jack Flash by the Rolling Stones is probably the worst of the lot, what the hell Mick was smoking when he made that, I don’t know?

No matter, watch this brilliant video of Joe Cocker doing that Beatles Classic “A little help from my friends” at Woodstock in the 60’s and look at the interpretation in graphics of the lyrics. This really is funny. Enjoy!


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Luis Suarez, Patrice Evra - Peace, Love and Misunderstanding

Old words for new worlds but still no change

I have spent this weekend reflecting on what a truly mad world we really do live in. It would seem that the more some people try to reform society, make it more open minded and susceptible to new and modern ideas and beliefs, that the more other people want not only obstruct these people and their new ways to completely reverse anything they have done.

How has this manifested itself?  In many ways but to be brief I will give you two incidents that spring to mind, one religiously and politically motivated, the other racially motivated.

Firstly, and in some ways much more importantly is the story I read in a local paper here in the Andalucía area of southern Spain, called The Olive Press, a free monthly paper for English and Spanish readers. The story is entitled “It’s Too Controversial!”

The article tells us that the new ruling right wing government party (PP) Partido Popular or “Popular Party” has scrapped a course taught in all schools on Civic responsibility, much to the delight of the Catholic Church. What is this course that has caused a government to scrap it when there are more urgent and pressing things to be dealt with? It’s a course made mandatory five years ago by the last socialist government for all state and private schools to encourage more open mindedness towards issues such as Homosexuality, Racism and Sexism. No problemo, or so one might think?

As it transpires it was very much a problem for some enraged parents who saw the course as a violation of their rights to educate their children according to their own beliefs, there were also an astonishing 3,400 lawsuits against the government and before the European Courts by seething Spanish parents. The Catholic Church made sure they got their money’s worth as well, criticizing the government for what they saw as “another attack on the family unit” (I love this one, coming from an organization that doesn’t allow it’s priests and Nuns to have a family but, hey, whatever rings your bell!”)

The Minister Jose Ignacio Wert came out with some waffle that the course went beyond ‘civic formation and guidelines’ set down by the Council of Europe and it caused ‘serious divisions in education and society’ he went on to say that the course was charged with indoctrination. Wert went on to proclaim a new program to teach the text of the Spanish Constitution, rights and responsibilities and will focus on ‘pluralism, liberty and democracy and knowledge of European institutions’ (you asleep yet?)

Guess what? Not everyone is happy!  The Basque Minister of Education (Basque region of Spain, autonomous region bordering Spain and France) has accused the government of being led by the most ideological of the Spanish Right Wing and an editorial in one of the major Spanish newspapers El Pais that the changes were down to the Spanish Catholic Bishops and the more radical sections of Spanish society that reject all forms of change to the alternative visions of the model family unit or identity.

Just in case you’re not that sure about ‘Pluralism’ (The existence in a society of groups having distinctive ethnic origin, cultural forms, religions, etc)

So, one lot want us to be enlightened about sexuality, race and gender because they think it would make a better world and the other lot are against it because it goes against centuries of political and religious dogma. I’m no politician. Any ideas on this one people?

The other issue that has caused me to think on issues other than my breakfast, walking the dog and going to the pub this fine Sunday morning is the problem relating to two football players (Soccer if you are from the USA) Luis Suarez (Liverpool FC and Uruguay) and Patrice Evra (Manchester United and France) who created one hell of a fuss over two months ago that everyone thought would be resolved with a simple handshake. It goes like this;

Liverpool v Manchester United is one of the most hotly contested of the domestic fixtures in the premier league in England, one reason is the intense local rivalry with Manchester and Liverpool being separated by the East lancs motorway and 35.6 miles from Liverpool city centre and Manchester city Centre, not just that but in footballing terms Liverpool have won more European cups than Manchester United whilst Manchester United have won more titles and so on, you catch my drift? So, there is always friction when these two sides meet.

This meeting was very much different though; this meeting would end in Patrice Evra, a small black Frenchman being racially abused by Luis Suarez, a Uruguayan of mixed ancestory. Suarez repeatedly used insulting words towards Evra through the match which Liverpool won; afterwards, Evra made a complaint which was upheld weeks later before a Football Association Committee and Suarez received a ban of 8 matches and warned against his future behavior he also paid a 40,000 pounds fine. That, so we thought, was that.

Oh no! Everyone had something to say on the matter for and against and when the Liverpool team wore T-Shirts supporting Suarez, this made things worse.

Wind forward to the next meeting at Old Trafford of Manchester United and Liverpool and the talking point was would Suarez shake hands with Evra and vice versa? All indications pointed to a yes vote as both Liverpool and Manchester United had made requests for the fans to unite in the spirit of football and put this issue to bed. Guess what?

Yeas, when the two sides lined up for the pre match ritual of the sporting handshake Luis Suarez snubbed the outstretched hand of Patrice Evra, this eventually led to confrontations in the tunnel at half time and again at the end of the match when Evra celebrated a little too much right in the face of Suarez.

The same situation again on only a smaller scale, one side seeks reconciliation and the other side seeks to remain stubborn and refuses to change. Any ideas on this one?

That’s my Sunday morning rant out of the way, I don’t normally ‘do’ politics and religion in my Blogs it’s just that this week it seemed a little too much to ignore.

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Jamaica Villa Phoenix

Villa Phoenix at Tryall Golf & country club in Montego Bay, Jamaica is a very versatile property as it can be rented as a 4, 6 or 7 bedroom holiday villa. Villa Phoenix also enjoys an absolute waterfront position with unopposed views of the Caribbean Sea and the Tryall Country Club estate. A staff consisting of a cook, laundress, gardener, housekeeper, pool man, security and butler will make sure everything goes according to plan, no matter that it’s a vacation, reunion or wedding that you use this fantastic Jamaica villa for.

Villa Phoenix is wonderfully decorated and very pretty, the views from the oval pool deck are stunning, the house is both comfortable and private. There are all the mod cons you would associate with modern living, such as DVD, TV, sets, Internet connection and lots more besides, like air con and cable TV in all the rooms and a Jacuzzi for good measure.

There is also a private sandy beach. Phoenix Villa has everything you will ever need for a great Jamaica Vacation.

Phoenix Villa Link

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Jamaica Villas - Mr Fraser goes to the Psychologist.

"Well Doctor, it's like dis.."

I’ve touched on the subject of Jamaican Humour before in a post that now seems years ago but was more than likely in August of 2011. Some years ago, on one of the major networks in the UK there was a TV comedy called ‘The Real McCoy’. What made the Real McCoy different was that it was produced by and featured Jamaican /Asian comedians and offered a different slant on humour that was the norm for UK TV and thank god for that and for one particular reason. Mr. Fraser!

If you are under the age of 18 you may not have seen the real McCoy and there is a chance you may not have come across Mr. Fraser, in which case I consider this post public information Blog.

Mr. Fraser is a Jamaican who is not what you would call ‘handsome’ well, not in the conventional sense at least, come to think of it, not in any sense! Mr. Fraser has goofy teeth and tatty hair that looks like it has been styled by Stevie Wonder and although he has an athletic figure, he is what we would call ‘a bit of a plonker!” he is not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. He is however, one of the most inane and funniest characters to bless the TV screens.

In this video, Mr. Fraser visits the psychologist because his wife is driving him to an early grave with her constant demands for “her medicine” see for yourself and you tell me if this isn’t Jamaica’s answer to Frank Spencer.

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Here's Looking at you, Kid!

Yo! Big Bro! I told you so!

I included this picture because I thought it was thought provoking…or so I thought?

Sometimes, just sometimes, life throws us Little snippets of humour that are totally unintended, most people would call this irony and, until I started writing this post after being sent the photograph of the surveillance camera outside George Orwell’s house, I would have described the image as “ironic” but I thought I had better check my own interpretation of the word, just in case.

I Googled “Define: Ironic” and I got a list of interpretations, some of them were very straight forward and others were just plain gobblewobble!

Ironic:

A pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other’s false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning —called also Socratic irony

Hmm? Not what I was looking for but in the end I found the simplest definition was one of my own “ I told my dog to sit and he did, I thought him very clever, my wife told me to sit and I did, I thought myself very silly!”

So, how ironic it is that George Orwell (real name Eric Blair) should write a novel that decries a totalitarian government bent on total manipulation through pervasive surveillance and he ends up having his yard used by pervasive government surveillance camera! Oh, the irony of it all! (Thanks to Mike Harding for the excellent photo)

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