"Bloody hell! the town hall have pushed the boat out tonight!"
The great thing about behaving like Mother Teresa at a Vatican piss-up is the fun you can have with those who did not clearly remember what they did (and who they did it with) the night before. It’s compensation for having to see in another year without that comforting numbness that we call “being merry”
What they really saw...buggerall!
Upon waking on the 1st of January 2012 and not having a head that felt like it had been used as a punch bag by Mike Tyson or feeling the need to run as fast as Usain Bolt to the Kharzi to evacuate at both ends, I thought I might check my camera and see what I took the night before at my friends shindig.
" The town hall has spent a lot on fireworks this year Mavis, they never bothered any other year?"
There was the usual stuff, middle aged men groping young woman on the pretence of wishing them a happy new year, the men’s wives keeping an eye on their men to make sure they didn’t try to make these wishes come true. I had several shots of people who looked three months dead, some in mid yawn looking like they were snarling, other photographs were just normal, if that is possible when you mix a lot of people with a lot of drink, music and food.
"Wheeeee! This is bloody grand is this! look at that rocket go Doris!"
There was something missing though, something that we would associate with New Year and the partying that goes with it. There was no fireworks display photographs!
The real thing. "Bloody hell Doris, theres nowt this year again!"
My mind flicked back to the night before and I realized that we saw very few fireworks as we live in the middle of nowhere, in the mountains of Andalucia and the town was a few miles away. From the balcony of our friend’s house we saw a couple of rockets go off but that was it!
It was at this point that my evil little mind started to formulate a plan to confuse those who had giggled with delight at having the night on the drink whilst I, mother Theresa of Calcutta, made do with water and a meager half glass of Champagne even though there was enough drink available to flood the Thames, I was driving so I stayed on water..
I had several photographs of our party looking from the balcony of the house into the general direction of the village, it was pitch black but a very clear sky, no clouds at all and you would have seen a firefly’s bum from 1 mile away that’s how clear it was. I decided I would invent a fireworks display that would match the one seen in London and I would then post the photos onto Face book for those who attended the party to see but wonder how the hell they missed a display that would have woken the Devil himself.
You could just imagine the conversations "Bloody 'ell Doris, that Rum Punch were reet strong, I don't remember fireworks going off last neet?" "No! I don't remember them either and I was only on Gin & tonic?"
Sometimes, sobriety can do very strange things to the most humble of people. See what you think of my fireworks display.
