Steps Reunion - The nightmare continues

The usual suspects - Steps!

It was one of those nights in Casa Blogspot, you know, "Nowt on t'telleh" except the usual pile of regurgitated D list celebrity mush, re-hashed cookery programmes, endless, mind-numbing soaps, Sky news repeating the same story about some MP or other getting caught with his trousers down. God I was bored out of my skull!

Then, as if by devine providence, Mrs Blogspot changed the channel to something like SKY Arts 23+1 and the listing read, no! the listing screamed "STEPS REUNION!"

I laughed, I must admit, I thought that there is no way this could be "Steps" you know, that very cheesy, annoying. irritating band of Pop plonkers who hung up their daft stage costumes many years past.

The laugh soon changed to a scream of horror when the synopsis (a brief or condensed statement giving a general view of the subject.) brought me back to reality with a massive bump "Steps reunion. Prior to the release of the forthcoming Greatest Hits Album...." suddenly I wasn´t reading the synopsis, I was back in the late nineties at a friends wedding, I was being dragged onto the dance floor by Mrs Blogspot's niece, a truly demonic child of some 9 years and as 'orrible as they come.

I was instructed by this little witch as to how one does the dance to "Tragedy". The fact that beating up nine year old girls is a criminal offence (rather like the music) prevented me from doing anything I would later regret. That night has stayed with me all these years and even copious ammount of Jack Daniels or hours transcedental meditation can erase the site of the lines of half pissed adults and semi-demented girls screaming "Traj-jiddee! Ha-haaa!" and waving their hands by their ears while a odd looking DJ with a very suspect hawaiian shirt ponces about trying to look cool. Sound stupid? Hard to imagine? watch the video and you will see what I mean. WARNING! This video contains music likely to cause offence and scenes of utter silliness!

"Traj -jeddee!"

Where was I? Oh, yes! Anyway dear Blogmeisters, after being tied to the chair and having a pair of old underpants forced into my mouth to muffle the screams, I and Mrs Blogspot settled down for what seemed hours of this gut-wrenching programme of why they split up in such an acrimonious manner and why they think they should get back together (call me Mr suspicious but I would say money?)

I must admit, in all honesty and fairness, that before the programme I really did hate this bands "music" it's silly outfits and it's naff, cheesy dance routines and everything else that was the pop outfit !Steps"

After the programme? I hated them!! Dear Lord above, it was all me! me!, how "I" felt, what it did to me! It would seem, no, it really was a case of five people of suspect "talent" with egos that made Mariah Carey seem like the sugar plum fairy.

They broke up because...well, who cares? They broke up, that's all that mattered to me and now, against all reason, they are back!

I know what your thinking, how can something as purile (love the Urban dictionary definition of Purile, very appropriate methinks!) as a cheesy pop band reforming bring such angst into the life of poor old Mr Blogspot?

BECAUSE THEIR "STEPS GREATEST HITS" ALBUM WENT TO NUMBER 1 IN THE ALBUM CHARTS THIS MONDAY MORNING!

I have only this piece of advice to give to you. Stay away from weddings and 9 year old witches.."traj - jeddee! Ha-haaaaa!" "Traj - jeddee!"

PS. If you think that there are no Steps fans left then this facebook page, added by two madmen, George and Adam, may change your mind. Steps Reunion on Facebook.

http://www.jamaicantreasures.com
Email lisa@jamaicantreasures.com
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